Thoughts on Splore 

  • Everyone was delighted that we were there with Wendy’s project (second pic down).
  • I am amused that my snarky “Giant Scabies” sign is now a thing.
  • It’s a commercial festival, so all the friendly people wanting to start a conversation with you want to sell you something. I rapidly stopped seeing people as people and started seeing them as hindrances. Commerce, man, just say no.
  • Bars with really loud music. No alcohol outside the bars, with fences and security to enforce that. So, beer and shout till I lose my voice, or tea? Tea won.
  • It is a spectacular venue.
  • Except for the rain. Fuck that rain. Set up in rain, packed down in rain, and mostly rain between the two. Hence ankle deep mud everywhere.
  • 2017 Splore business idea – stall outside gate selling gumboots. Would make millions. Just need to go back in time to before the festival.
  • Better time machine idea – go back to before the festival, stay home by the fire instead.
  • Worked too hard, failed to party. Again. Equally failed to spent much time with lots of my friends there, but that’s cos we were all mostly there to work.
  • The ute got blocked in by bad parking, yuppie SUVs without 4wd, and soaked ground turning into bog. I wasn’t delighted. Kiwiburn has better parking organisation.
  • The stuck cars resulted in people just standing around, not self-organising, and waiting for the festival to fix it, where “festival” meant one sleep-deprived secuirty guy and four 4x4s to unstick vehicles for 10,000 people. We got out by ourselves, where “we” means several vehicles and the people with those vehicles. Literally all it took was  Wendy and myself just walking up to people and saying, hey, why don’t we try just pushing? Burners are better at seeing a problem and just fixing it.

7 Responses to 'Thoughts on Splore '

  1. Nicola says:

    Burners, man. We get shit done.

  2. Oliver Macro says:

    ~ Good to know that my parking systems for KB outclass a major commercial event. Pretty funny considering that I thought them up in less than an hour by considering basic logic and asking Google what the standard measurements of a car park actually were.

    ~ THE RETURN OF THE GIANT SCABIES SIGN!

    ~ Splore is basically now NZ’s Glastonbury.

    ~ Tea always wins.

    ~ It is a spectacular spot. I used to drive out there with friends in my teenaged years to get stoned and listen to music for hours on end.

    ~ I am recovered-ish from my ‘work myself to death’ induced illness. We should get the usuals together for a thing soon and make up for the party party that we’ve missed out on.

    ~ All hail Wendy!

    • Jez says:

      I thought that the sign had been “disinfected” by burning it. Seems certain Auckland burners decided to keep it.

      Clearly, their commitment to Health and Safety is greater than I was expecting.

  3. Bacon says:

    Splore Blows! I went once to see what the hype was about it was crap then and it still is. Overpriced, Highly commercialised and elitist. Kiwiburn is light years ahead of Splore, but then it’s apples and oranges one is not for profit and the other most definitely is. I for one will take kiwiburn, Luminate, or Sundaise anyday over Splore. Seriously, it took you suggesting pushing cars???? Where do all the “fix it for me” people come from, surely logic would dictate you’d just start pushing to get the hell out of there. I should contract to them next year for tow services, use Splore to make money to spend on Kiwiburn!

  4. Tatjna says:

    I would not be keen to see what happens at Kiwiburn after that much rain tbh.

    • Jez says:

      On the plus side:
      – less distance from parking to gravel
      – fewer heavy vehicles
      – more willingness for everyone to sort it out
      – more tractors per person

      On the minus side:
      – that bottom paddock and the steep slope out of it
      – one access road by steep cliffs

      Biggest risk I’d see is not vehicles getting bogged but a slip blocking the access road? I’m sure KB has thought of that in the emergency planning.

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